What’s the problem? No. What is the solution?

I know, I’ve been there. You’ve got a problem. We all do. As a self proclaimed expert problem solver I love tackling a good problem, working it out to find the cause and tracking the correlating effects. But what I have learned is that focusing on the problem only keeps me stuck in a loop of the problem. The negatives, the not doing enough, the why is this happening…. When I focus on the solution, what I want the desired result to be, then I am able to free myself from the burden.

And I’m not alone, ancient wisdom, spiritual leaders, great entrepreneurs all agree.

“Focus on the solution, not on the problem.” Jim Rohn
“If you’re not apart of the solution, you’re apart of the problem.” African Proverb
“Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.” Anonymous
“Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.” Tony Robbins
“Every problem is a question trying to be asked. Every question is an answer seeking to be revealed.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith”

You know that saying, where focus goes energy flows.

When we are focused on the problem it tends to completely envelop us. It becomes bigger and bigger each time we think about it. Maybe it was a little thing when first presented but over a weeks time that problem could now feel massive and we as a result, feel less capable of solving it. It might cause us to be more anxious or stressed, it could cause us to worry way more than it need. And most of all, when we focus too much on the problem, it can be difficult to even consider a way our, a solution.

When we focus on the problem, we tend to get more problems.

When we are stuck in a pattern of thinking of the problem, it’s hard to step back and see the full picture. To see the varying perceptions that are contributing to the problem situation. Perhaps the hardest perception to see is our owns and how we can be directly influencing the problem.

I know because I do it too. I want to know why I have the problem and I focus on it so intensely it consumes my mind constantly. Where is the cause? Why is this happening. /I’ve learned that in trying to find the cause, I am trying to find the blame. I blame because taking ownership of myself in the problem hurts. It’s hard. And 9x/10 I am the direct cause of all the problems I encounter. Ha you know, I am because its is my problem. No one else’s. So we do, we blame vs accepting with loving kindness, because in truth, we are all doing our best at any one given moment in time. To blame is searching for someone or something to shame. And if you have listened to any Brene Brown, shame is the lowest of lows in our egoic mind. emotional vibration. Shame is a hard, overwhelming and a super heavy emotion that is fueled by the ego. It’s a dark little memory that makes us feel inadequate, useless and stupid. And we want to blame others and project those painful feelings on anyone and anything besides ourself.

Thing is, the reality is, it doesn’t matter so much why. The truth is its happened and there is nothing you can do to change what is currently in front of you besides projecting a vision of what you’d like the outcome of whatever “problem” predicament you are finding yourself in. Which is the solution.

You can see that you are stuck into something and accept where you are. Darn it! I have one hum dinger of a problem in front of me. Seeing it provides/allows acceptance of what is. This brings you to the present moment. Take a breath, you are here. You are living a life that is designed FOR YOU to learn and grow into the highest expression of yourself. This “problem” is merely an opportunity for you to grow through it. To move yourself to a higher plane. And yeah, I know it’s not always easy to grow and often comes with some discomfort. But my darling child, the sooner you honor that discomfort with loving acceptance, the faster to can move towards what you can do about it. Which is a solution.

The past is the past. It is what has been. You are here now in the what is. We can not do anything to change what has already taken place but we can do a great many things about what is coming up, about the future and the best step forward to the future is to project the energy you want to experience. How would it feel to solve that problem?

When we focus on the solution we are also taking ownership of our situation (remember that blaming thing). We are claiming our right to do something about it versus wishing it away. There are a great many things that can be done with prayer and wishing, in my experience the best wishes granted are those of a changed perception. “Please help me find my way thought this, Please show me the next step forward.” Sure a lottery ticket for a million dollars might solve some short-term financial problems but we all know that wealth never lasts because are you becoming aware of the solutions to the miss-steps that got you in financial turmoil to begin with.

Problem - you are in debt up to your ears. Your wish - to not have this problem anymore.

note: the true problem you encountered is that you are not keeping good account of your finances.

The Solution - Be a good steward of your finances, keep a good account of your money. There are about 10000000 sites devoted to financial advice and guidance. If you do not know what specifically to do then say a prayer and have the universe guide you to the best site for you to receive this information. Then focus on the solutions provided. It could as simple as tracking your spending or creating a budget and not spending outside your limitations. Take time to practice and give yourself grace as you learn a new skill. See the solutions are there. Get out of your problem mindset so you can see it.

Let’s try another example

Problem: You are driving in your car and someone cuts you off causing you to swerve. This really startles you and now you are on high alert afraid that someone else might jut out at your car again. Problem: You are stressed out

Okay, take a moment to think and feel this scenario, you would respond. Okay now how would you like to feel?

Solution: You want peace

Breath. Yes that happened. Let it go. Send loving kindness to this unknown person because they are trying their best. You are still driving, still on the road and headed to your destination. Let it go, it’s over and you can’t go back. I know this person scared you, I see that but with love, harboring anger for them only effects your body not theirs. The solution here is your desired state of peace to continue your day.

Problem: You are unhappy with your current health status.

Solution: Define what “health” means for you. Is it running a mile, is it climbing the stairs without getting winded, is it being able to play with your grandchildren when you are older, is it fitting into your clothing more easily, is it getting a better nights rest, is it feeling better inside your body… point is you need to move in a direction of what that could be for you. Accept where you currently are in your health journey, set a goal and take ownership of your being by seeking out guidance to reach that goal.
Like with financial advice, there are millions of methods and tools to be “healthier.” Many of them you probably know without searching google…. making meals at home, eating more whole foods, cutting back on sugar, moving your body with regularity, lifting weights… point is, you have 100% control of this. The solution is seeking the health you want not staying in a state of unhappiness about your current situation.

Problem: Your friend/co-worker has asked you to do something (donate money, attend an event, do a favor) you don’t want to and now you feel pressured and/or guilty about it and you feel a tension now whenever you’re together.

Solution: Make peace within yourself. You are the one holding this tension. If you expressed your truth, your wants and needs and there is nothing greater thing than honoring your truth. Anyone else’s opinions, objections or concerns are really none of your business. Know that you have the right to your time and by honoring your desires there is no guilt or shame.

Problem: You are worried about the future, what could happen

Solution: Focus on what is happening now. Live in the now, not in the what could be because really, we have no control over what could or could not happen. The only one who does is God. Worrying gives us a false sense of control, I like to think it is also an attempt to mentally prepare but unfortunately, all it does is draw those negative occurrences towards us. Let go of what is not right now.

Problem: Your kids fight, don’t listen, act up…. you know the thing (this is my greatest problem and keeps me on a long blame train).

Solution: You want a loving relationship within your family. What does that mean to you? How can you move to achieve it? Does it mean your children play nicely together or that they are pushing each others buttons seeking to have their needs met? Does it mean your children follow your orders? or rather that you are being herd? Do you need to enforce clearer boundaries? Does it mean you have open communication? Maybe it’s gaining more emotional intelligence collectively, with open communication to clearly express your/their needs and have your/their needs met. Maybe it’s letting go of some of those triggers cuz they are just children trying to find their way in this world like you are still. You don’t need to know exactly what the key to getting you there will be, that will come over time, with practice and with intentional effort. The solution is having the intentional effort to foster a more sound relationship. Taking ownership of how you contribute to the dynamic. Taking ownership in the family to read some parenting book, seek guidance from a counselor, seek advice from your elder community or respected leaders, working to improve your communication skills …. if the solution is fostering a loving relationship, then my love relationships are like garden beds. If you don’t plant flowers, if you don’t weed, if you don’t nourish the plants and soil, if you don’t tend to it, nothing can blossom. I know our lives get busy busy and we are pulled in 300 directions at once, but when it comes to problems with other people, then its about the relationship you have with them, a solution is how you can move forward to foster a better one. You are 100% responsible for your part in a relationship, be willing to make the effort to get that ship sailing high.

Sometimes, the solutions will not be obvious. It might take a bit of time to discover what a solution could be. But this doesn’t mean you can’t pursue some type of solution. If you are feeling stuck and can not see any options for a solutions then ask for help. Send a prayer to the divine for guidance and wait for the message to come. It may be subtle, an idea or something you hear someone say but I know you will get an answer. Ask and you shall receive. When you do, notice and hold it, it was meant for you. Maybe the best solution is to pray for a solution to come.

“The answer to any challenge you are having has nothing to do with God’s willingness to help. It has to do with your acceptance of how the Infinite is already active within you, how it has already placed within you all that you need to solve and dissolve inner conflict through conscious communion with the Self.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith