To find the Peace in the Chaos

What do you do when life gets chaotic? 

I ask because this feeling always seems trickle back. I know what works for me to manage it (my morning routine and meditation breaks) yet when I’m don’t get adaquate rest or when I’m feeling “off” I find I resist doing the things!!  My routine grounds me, reconnects me, nurtures me and uplifts me. I love it sooo much!!!  So I’m here questioning myself why I resist doing it at times? 

And as a human, I know I’m not alone in this struggle. I see your dedication and drive, I see your consistency. We all know the things that when we do them everyday (or most days) we feel our best selves. What is it during those 10% days when our ego gets the better of us? 

And I’m not talking about taking a physical rest because that is highly highly important. I’m talking about why when life really flips us, we fight taking the 10 minutes to collect and bring ourselves back to center.

——

I was listening to a podcast yesterday and believe I found some insight (not that I know what to do with it yet). Leo Babauta was talking with Tim Ferris about his Zen Habits and Antifragility and it really inspired me to drive deeper. Maybe I’m just looking to judges myself, because deep deep down I still believe I am not worthy of this time. To which I can forgive and reaffirm that I am (ego you hear me I AM WORTHY). Or Maybe it’s the deep fear of uncertainty, collecting and scattering myself thin because of my belief programming. To which the grounding practice IS the remedy. Knowing you are in control, reclaiming that power, going back to the breath. I guess for me it’s still being able to acknowledge I have the power when life/programming tells me I don’t. There is sooooo much power in taking a deep breath and gaining yourself. 

We sure have a lot of agents that are constantly fighting against us. Agents that bring us to this constant reactive state. For me, it’s when my body is under more stress (poor sleep, too much sugar, kids not listening, not taking enough me time) and not having the things that make me whole like talking to my community, being outside in nature, dancing or having fun, learning. Over the 2020 year I have really learned how much my soul needs these factors to “fill my cup”. They are what give me my power to stand up for myself when my triggers are screaming left and right. 

I’m sending wish out for a miracle to help me be connected everyday. Help me acknowledge and take the moment the breath that I know I need. Please give me the power to realize the reaction, realize the fight and flight. Help me do them because I want to keep this space of peace and compassion more consistently. #itsapractice