Fear, is there and will always be
the challenge is in how you perceive and move with fear.
Which, can be super hard to get over since it is perpetuated EVERWHERE we look. The media, the news, the medical community, in our relationships, most of which runs around in our own heads. Fear can be all too consuming and its one of those muscle memory things, the more we respond with fear, the more we are drawn to it.
This basic human emotion, which is designed to protect us from predators, has become glorified as a commodity that media sources depend on to generate profits. Which news sells? 🐅Tigers chasing you, an oncoming Natural Disasters 🌊 or uplifting headlines 🥰? Headlines of Fear.
And this ‘fear state’ does a great job trigger a slew of stress responses in our bodies but also heightens a repeated victim mentality. Fear is not just a natural disasters, it’s “How will will survive this?” “What will happen to our house?“ Fear is not a virus, it’s “Will this virus infect our household and hurt my loved ones?” Fear is not violence, it’s “Will I get hurt?” Fear is not injustice, “it’s why is this happening?” Fear is not a lack of money, it’s “How am I going to feed my children?”
This “fear state” then becomes the primary driver in our decisions and interactions. Can you think of a time when you haven’t acted in fear? Fear is the new normal!
But friends there is hope ✨ You do not need to be manipulated. You have the opportunity to gain control to move past fear to allow change and growth to happen. And it is as simple as asking a question. Questions that can change the perspective and open you up to real answers.
Step 1 …. the most important step…. Acknowledging that what you feel, what state you are are in, is a fear state. How do you do that? Ask a questions. “How am I feeling today?” You could think it but I like to write questions to myself. Its almost like getting them out of my head an onto paper makes them more real. Step 1 Questions:
“How am I feeling today?”
“What Am I feeling?”
“Am I feeling Fearful?”
Step 2 Be Quiet and listen. This can be the hardest part for many as all too often we like to be consumed with so many things, for fear of our thoughts. I don’t want to get too deep into being quiet but just stopping and taking a deep breath or several to allow a connection to happen within your body and mind. When we are quiet, our heart and soul can speak so we can listen.
Maybe you want to read the emotions provided to see if anything resonates with you.
Step 3 Congratulations you are human!! You are experiencing a human emotion! Acknowledge that you are having this feeling. And maybe it is not fear, maybe when you asked you are feeling something different. Your listening brought you to worried, confused, misunderstood, disappointed maybe you feel like you haven’t been herd. Or on another side, maybe you feel happy or curious.
Point is, once we know how we are “feeling,” then we can move to a greater place to address those feelings. We can take control to change the narrative around the feeling. We can ask the questions to get answers that promote change in our lives.
“Why am I feeling this way”
“What can I do to help shift this feeling?”
“What can I learn for myself to not feel this way”
“What would need to change for me to not feel this way?”
Friends, I‘m here to tell you this is not a necessarily easy task. To stop yourself and ask how you are feeling? That’s laughable, right? Wrong. That takes courages. I know it is especially not easy to be quiet enough to listen to yourself. Waiting for an answer, especially when it seems the world is moving so fast around you. Hello unproductive weakness? Wrong. That takes compassion. These “steps,” they are so SO necessary for your wellbeing. Your souls being. You are a human being and by acknowledging what is happening…..that is to know where you are. If you ever want to grow or be better, then you first need to realize where you are. I can tell you that was the hardest part for me to realize. Figuring out where I was when my life felt so out of control. It’s why I’m writing this today, so maybe someone who is experiencing the same thing I was will read it and be inspired to try and make a change in their lives. A change for good for their families lives.